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He makes richard branson look like Onslow from keeping up appearances.

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Some money. The recent test of the reusable booster ended with it crashing while trying to land on the barge at sea. There was a problem with the boosters and it kinda landed on the barge at an angle and blew up, but fair play for having it launch, push the other stages up to a certain height, then decent back to the barge again. Pretty amazing when you think about it.

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Obviously making up for decades of childhood bullying for that name.

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Looks like a countdown conundrum

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sounds like a new lynx fragrance tbf

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Pavlov you are absolute LONE SKUM for outdoing me

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NO MUSKLE

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Haha @ Zucchini

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Hope gherkin doesn't SULK ON ME when he sees I've got a better anagram.

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No guarantees, he's known for it. Just glad he's back

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Kudos on the wordplay by the way

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Who is this gherkin i keep hearing about? No relation of mine

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close, but not cigar. vine.co/v/OjqeYWWpVWK

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wtf was that?

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Elon Musk's / Space -X, rocket trying to land on a barge in the ocean.

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arstechnica.com/scienc...

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you're ok, you're ok, you're ok, you're ok, .... BANG!

*turns and walks away*

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Full RUD (rapid unscheduled disassembly) event.

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lol legend...

Elon Musk: I can fix South Australia power network in 100 days or it's free

Elon Musk, the billionaire founder of electric car giant Tesla, has thrown down a challenge to the South Australian and federal governments, saying he can solve the state’s energy woes within 100 days – or he’ll deliver the 100MW battery storage system for free.

On Thursday, Lyndon Rive, Tesla’s vice-president for energy products, told the AFR the company could install the 100-300 megawatt hours of battery storage that would be required to prevent the power shortages that have been causing price spikes and blackouts in the state.

Thanks to stepped-up production out of Tesla’s new Gigafactory in Nevada, he said it could be achieved within 100 days.

Mike Cannon-Brookes, the Australian co-founder of Silicon Valley startup Atlassian, on Friday tweeted Elon Musk, asking if Tesla was serious about being able to install the capacity.

Musk replied that the company could do it in 100 days of the contract being signed, or else provide it free, adding: “That serious enough for you?”

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He's going to go down in history as the best innovator ever. He pisses on Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

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Bad job if he missed the deadline

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Bad job putting down Isambard like that.

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Elon Musk Just Launched A Company To Merge Your Brain With A Computer

futurism.com/elon-musk...

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lol reddit is mental

OK. You are now walking down a popular sex district street in Thailand, you look somewhat peckish, but walk past a street food stand with 4 or 5 tourists standing around it, an it's serving fried crickets and scorpions. You shake your head slowly, and continue walking down the road.

At the next block, a cute girl waves at you from a street corner. She reminds you of the girl working at your hostel, so you gad over; she is stunning; that slim frame, and big eyes achieved only by the the truest of the true thai women.

She chats with you and puts her hand on your shoulder "I have my frend hom tonight? You want to have fun?". You've been putting off the experience way too long. You've been struggling with the idea, but after all it's your last night in Thailand, and you don't want to die stupid.

You haggle for a few minutes, and remember the old adage: haggle up for quality, not down for price. So after having drummed by a long list of what these girls are going to do to you, you finally both take to a dark alley, hand in hand.

You reach a dark grotty hotel, your girl gets charged by the lady at the entrance, and you both walk up a few flights of stairs. You turn your head and see some people passed out in the hotel corridors, but take no notice, and enter a room. By now your trousers are visibly bulging and it's obvious to all what's on your mind.

As she enters she exclaims:

- "ฉันมีดูดอีก ขอทำดีเขาใน เขาดูเหมือนคนโง่ที่อุดมไปด้วยอีก!"

With a smile on your face, you jokingly say:

- "I understood all of that"

she replies:

- "You so funny big boy. Want a drink?"

The three of you sit, with some drinks, and the girls are surprisingly good at leading the conversation and making you feel comfortable.

You all start making out. The look on your eyes says "Yes finally!" as they open wide with ecstasy. You pull up the girl's skirt, and attempt to insert yourself into her, but she leans over and grabs some lube "I need to make wet for you biig boy!!".

You're really starting to lose your balance a little from the drink.. was that only alcohol? She turns around and lubes her arsehole "more fun like that big boy" she says to you with a wink. You are hesitant but as you gaze at the nape of her neck over her ass crack, you slowly penetrate her from behind.

During the meanwhile her friend positions herself on top of her, And presents her back to you. You start kissing her around the hips and lower back; she moans as she rubs her breasts. By this time, your eyes are visibly crossing, and you keep on losing your balance and catching yourself on the side of the bed.. you disengage your friends, and lie face down on the bed, unable to resist the heavy slumbler that is suddenly set uppon you.. your eyes are clearly fighting to stay open.. at this moment, you feel a wet sensation between your buttocks cheeks, and a sudden and painful penetration. You are however unable to move.

Black. Darkness. The sounds and sensations fade away.

As you resume the fight to open your eyes, you are lying in the bathtub. “What the hell?” you audibly utter.. you cannot remember getting into a bathtub with these girls.. you start to tremble and hear the clunking of ice-cubes colliding against each other.. this time you scream “What the hell!!!!!” as you realise blood is oozing out of plasters that are haphazardly wrapped around your sides. This time, you let out a vehement cry, an animal-like cry loud enough to wake up your ancestors. “AAAAAAAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! HELP!!! HELP!!! HELP!!! HELP!!!!!”

You get out of the bed and all your belongings have gone, your laptop that was in your carrier bag, your camera, wallet, passport, plane tickets. All gone. You have nothing but a dressing gown. You utter “embass… embass.. embassy. Embassy!” as you remember your Embassy is just around the corner. As you get there, a security guard escorts you to a room, where you sit with 5 other guys who look just like you, all in blood stained wardrobes. “What the hell!” you say, and they all start repeating “what the hell!” one after the other, into an increasingly loud cacophony of “what the hells”.

“Someone will finally meet you sir” you are escorted to a room at the Embassy, where you explain what happened, they provide you with an emergency passport, and a ticket, you are rushed to the airport in an Ambulance. The plane is a flying hospital, where you are being cared for. You keep on signing agreement forms along the way, forms with huge numbers on them, with a look on your face of a man who no longer has a choice.

Upon landing you are rushed to your home town’s hospital. They run a battery of tests on you. You drift in and out of consciousness. As you wake up, the most senior doctor at your hospital is sitting in the room with you. He says “Look, son. There’s no easy way to say this, so I’ll just go ahead and say it. Your blood work revealed a high level of antigens, so we ran a further screening test, and we’re fairly sure you have contracted the the human immunodeficiency virus. We’ve contacted your family, and they’re on their way. You’ll be fine son. The treatments these days are quite effective, and many sero positives like yourself live good lives worth living”.

Your family, and the press rush in. The press? How the hell did they get hold of this story. Your friends and family come to see you one by one. The only thing that strikes you is that they are all crying.

As the weeks go by, your condition keeps on deteriorating. It turns out you also contracted MRSA due to the unsafe sex, and your wounds are refusing to heal. You wither away before your family’s hopeless eyes.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

“He’s back”.

You open your eyes, and lean back. As your vision sharpens, you see a man in his 40s with a smirk on his face. Behind him a big shining logo “Life-X”. No.. this cannot be. “Elon Musk?” you ask, somewhat confused.

Elon: “One hell of a ride, huh?”

You: “What the hell?”

Elon: “Hahah - you do say that a lot. What did you think? Did you like the Thai girls?”

You: “I was.. dying. I had my kidneys removed. I had aids. What the hell”
Elon: “Well I do have a form with your signature on it, and you ticked the ‘surprise me’ box. Your memory will take a while to return fully.. you posted on reddit saying you wanted us to simulate a threesome with Thai girls. So we delivered.”

You: “But how….”

Elon: “Most customers don’t remember. In fact I’m not sure how to implant the memory deeply enough yet. Anyway we tell everyone repeatedly before they go in: if you ever want to communicate with us, just find a laptop, log on to reddit.com and start posting. That’s the ‘telephone’” We were pretty sure you were remembering, and telling us what you wanted”.

You stand up. You’re absolutely fine, and the memory of your true identity starts to come back in slowly. You look at Elon, and you both give each other a big high five.

The camera freezes frame, and goes in for a slow motion of the high five, medium close-up of you and elon, with big smiles on your faces, and a 70s sitcom television show music kicks in. Elon goes in for a final slow-mo wink.

The end.

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Shit black mirror

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Not sure that Thai sentence is grammatically correct!

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Tesla's market value overtakes Ford

Tesla's market value has overtaken that of Ford after shares in the electric car maker added more than 7%. At the close of trading Tesla had a market value of $49bn (£38bn), compared with Ford's value of $46bn. Tesla's shares rose on Monday after the company announced record vehicle deliveries in the first three months of the year. The firm delivered more than 25,000 cars in the first quarter, up 70% on the same quarter last year.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/bus...

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www.technologyreview.c...

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That article is like when you have not written enough for you homework so you set it to a bigger font to make it look more

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The new Model 3 looks pretty nice from it's side perspective - www.bbc.co.uk/news/bus...

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Hit enter to soon. Meant to write that the bonnet/front 3rd looks weird or something, though.

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How many fingers can u stick up yer dogs ass these days takki? He still enjoys judging by yer profile pic or is that his face when u tell him about the house?

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You should talk about your mother that way. But if you really want to know, she takes the whole fist these days. Worked her up from one digit to most of the forearm. If you shout into the chasm after, you can hear an echo.

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I came out sideways so stop taking credit

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haha

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www.instagram.com/p/BY...

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www.instagram.com/p/BZ...

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Resorted to flogging tat with branding on it to generate money. What a genius. He's gonna save the world.

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He’s a marketing genius.

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He’s launching Tesla roadster into space today. Webcast starts 6-15pm gmt, weather permitting.

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This is going to be mad. Their basically paying for the marketing campaign forever. The car will have a dummy in the seat, and the car will be playing Space Oddity in a loop. Brilliant!

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Musk has already said he sees the launch failing. The 3 falcon 9 rockets that make up the heavy are going to independently return back to different landing pads. Hope it works. Would be a major win for him.

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You ever see those videos of the spacex employees shouting and roaring. If they get all three, and the car releases, they are going to lose their shit. Talking phillidelphia eagles fans eating police horse shit level of crazyness.

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Where'd he say that Andy? I read he thought it was a 50/50...

Is this the car that's going to Mars? Or is that later?

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He always says that. Hes prepared to blow up some rockets, so they can learn from it.

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